it’s truly unbelievable how the kink community will put their hands over their ears when survivors talk about the fetishization of their abuse but then use survivors who cope using bdsm as props to win arguments
Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
you continuously say that trans women don't know what it's like to be born female, but you don't know what it's like to be trans, so what gives you more right to speak over them?
i actually do know what it’s like to be trans tho???
i have talked about this on my blog before and how from the ages of 15-19 i was in the transition process of FTM which included psych evaluations, HRT, and surgery appointments including bottom surgery with Dr Brassard in Montreal, Canada.
but it never felt right to me truly, except i thought transitioning was my only option because i was a female who didn’t “feel like” the other girls because i liked sports and rough-housing with my bros and i only had guy friends and i liked to dress “like a boy” and i hated having a vagina and a period and stupid boobs and i wanted to get rid of ‘em and also i was attracted to other girls so because of those things i “felt like” a boy and thus EUREKA THE OPTION IS TRANSITION!!!!
except it was never quite right because like… dressing like a boy and binding my chest and having surgery were not ever going to genuinely make me into a boy so why was i doing this shit to myself?
anyway THERAPY OUT THE WAZOO and hurrah hello i am a very happy woman completely satisfied with herself, her lesbian identity, and her understanding of life as a woman in a patriarchy so restrictive it made her believe she had to “become” a boy just to be herself.
so ya actually i do understand what it’s like.
and how much bullshit it all is and it’s just oppressive conditioning brainwashing crap.
so. that, and a ton of detransitioned people here on tumblr can tell you their stories as well and how it’s all crap and as a woman who had to go through all of that in order to discover her true self… males who think they can step into the womanhood i fucking nearly killed myself for (AS A FEMALE, NO LESS) can sit down rn.
Detransitioners NEVER “count” for these people. It’s a “no true scotsman” fallacy: if you detransition, then you were never truly trans.
<3 Indeed, Shamelesslyunladylike, and thank you for getting that.
Never mind that in our little pack of detransitioned women we can count women who had sex dypshoria in addition to women whose dysphoria started as a gender problem; women who passed and women who never did; women who were “true transsexual” “truscum” with intractable dysphoria from childhood and women who were “genderqueer” “genderspecials;” women who were/are butch and women who were never lesbian. The hierarchies of realness—“status” stratifications—are toxic to us all.
I’ve been around long enough to watch the Official Line on Real Transness change mightily to adapt to new critiques. It has “transitioned,” if you will.
The irony’s thicker than I can manage: trans means you are whatever you feel yourself to be uwu; detransitioned means you’re a delusional fuckup. A woman is anyone who says they are a woman; a detransitioned woman is an “idiot” for being gender-fucked by patriarchy.
And of course if any one of us said tomorrow that we were going back, we’d be “real” again.
Another example of how trans doesn’t count as trans when it’s not convenient.
I will forever support fellow poc girls who have to wax and shave because if they grow it out white girls wouldn’t think of it as feminism but they’ll just say “she’s hairy and dirty” and call her a “monkey”
But when a white girl has like three hairs on her armpit from growing it out for months she’s “brave” and a “role model “
If you only support “attractive” white chicks with armpit hair while mocking poc women for something they can’t control, as in facial hair, chest hair, leg hair, thick back and neck hair.
You aren’t a feminist.
You’re a racist
Those extremely blonde girls who come to you and are like “oh I never shaved my legs and no-one ever complained, not shaving is easy!”, and they show you their barely-visible super thin golden leg hair that can only be seen when the light incides in a certain specific way.
And you’re like:
Yeah sure no one is gonna notice.